Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Find Your Crazy

"I'm gonna work at the top of that building someday. I'm gonna run the whole thing!" I said. I was 8 years old and foolish. Or was I?

Maybe I was (am?) a genius. Hell, there's a damn fine line between crazy and genius, right? I mean, c'mon, think about Einstein. Some of the greatest discoveries he made - relativity, E=MC^2, etc. - were all before he turned 30. Crazy - or genius?

Today, a friend's mom sent me a text message to ask how I'm doing. (Hi, Nena!) In response, I said, "I'm okay! Never satisfied - always aiming for higher and better. It's the best and worst part of life." Funny how a character limit can force you to have an epiphany.

But it's so true!

At what point can I be satisfied - content - with my life? The more I ponder that question, the firmer I believe that life is a permanent struggle - always learning, pushing, reaching, striving for more, for... everything.

It all boils down to the fact that I'm a perfectionist. "Good" simply isn't good enough. And it never will be.

It's the reason why, when I meet guys who are genuine and kind-spirited but who don't challenge me or encourage me to take risks, I become disinterested. It's also why, after I finish a project, let it sit for some time and return to re-evaluate it, I become critical and... disgusted.

And my writing? Yeah, I perfect that too - line by line until it reads like my words echoing over the phone or in a car on the way to the club.

But life is not a blog post or a project - it's a journey. An imperfect, messy journey. And the farther along we travel. the crazier it gets. And that's okay. It's okay to falter.

Never stop being crazy - reaching for the stars and saying, "I'm gonna run the whole thing!" 'Cause if you don't aim for the sky, well... then you just aren't crazy enough to reach it.

1 comment:

  1. I don't think imagining yourself in the corner office is crazy, it's practical if you actually want to get there.

    So, my friend, I am proud that you're trying to do big things. I have no doubt you'll be successful.